Theater

Intentionally Awful Theater

International Cringefest 2010 runs until August 8

by Josh Kurp   |   Jul 20, 2010

Intentionally Awful Theater

We’re not sure what’s going on here, either. (Photo: NY Artists Unlimited, via Facebook)

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Last night was the beginning of 2010′s International Cringefest, a three week-long celebration of awful theater. Really, really awful theater. The performances will be held at the Grand Theatre at the Producers Club (358 W. 44th St.), and are separated into five categories, as seen below, with The Boss Gets Some Bad News, a four-minute film by David Schrag, opening every evening. Audiences can vote nightly for Cringefest’s version of the Razzies for the following awards: Golden Pineapple, Silver Tomato, Bronze Banana, and Jack Lemons for the actors. There will also be a silent auction running throughout the festival, including a 12-16 day supply of the Hollywood Cookie Diet.

Psycho Bitch Party

July 19, July 24 (5, 8 p.m.); July 30, August 5

Ashley Saves the World
Lovelorn Ashley finally finds Mr. Right, but there’s a devilish catch.
The Surprise Party
Devoted wife stages birthday party for husband… but what is in that package?!
Lori at a Fetish Party
Naughty (spank me, cowboy) Lori encounters expressive party-goers.
Psycho Bitch & the Throbbing Blue Veiner
Will it end in the big bang or a failure to launch?
New Rochelle
Mother tries to keep it together, but in the end it’s a blast!

Is That a Corncob in Your Pocket?

July 20, July 28, August 2, August 7 (5 p.m., 8 p.m.)

Sweet Talk
Country girl has naughty secret that only city slicker can pull out of her.
Red Dirt, White Trash
Tobacco Road meets Here Comes Abe Lincoln.
Whittlin’ Dixie
Country hicks search in-house and out-house for birthday present with hours of fun.
The Clothing Line
Talk show host Maxi Pad welcomes designers with new take on wife beater couture.
The Great Pig Robbery
Whole danged town comes out for the fair, but Homer’s pig has gone a’missin’!

Dow Jones Meets Deep Throat

July 21, July 25, July 29, August 3 (4 p.m., 7 p.m.)

The Alopecia Plot
Secret agents meet in basement to uncover terrorist threat.
The Hedge Fun
East Hamptonites enjoy money, power, and society, but one ends up with golf stroke.
Sarah Opts Out!
Sayonara, baby, from former governor of a very northern state.
Small World
Wall Street vets meet in elevator and one goes to bat for the other.
The Patent Application
Tapdancing octopod and inventor search for patent letter in this slapstick comedy.

Sex, Thugs and Rockin’ Roles

July 22, July 26, August 1, August 6 (4 p.m., 7 p.m.)

69 Stories
Writer and publisher tangle. Is integrity the name of the game?
Torrid Taxes
Sparks fly between CPA and client, who just can’t get no satisfaction.
Godot, Act 3
Vladimir and Estragon finally get closure—or do they?
Four Characters in Search of a Play
Juxtaposes family drama with the stuff of bad playwriting.
The Greatest Play Ever (If You Don’t Think So, You’re a Basket of Farts)
Megalomaniacal director is set to debut politically incorrect, tapdancing masterpiece.
Nanny Lends a Hand
Local celebrity drops in for bawdy spoof.
Fingerman
With a finger for a dad, will Dex Pointer ever realize his potential? And where does Wayne Newton figure in?
Don’t Write a Bad Play, or a Cautionary Tale about the Brutality of the War on Terror and the Futility of Using Violence to Stop Violence
Plot riddled with bullets, blondes, bombs and, worst of all, rewrites.
Artistic Integrity of a Damned-Fine Love Story (a.k.a. Zombie Chicken)
Screenwriter pitches fowl love story.

Sex Encounters of a Disturbed Mind

July 23, July 27, July 31, August 4 (5 p.m., 8 p.m.)

Bagel Shopping
Man shops for present for wife and encounters salesgirls from  Twilight Zone
Would Ya?
Two dudes hang at mall sizing up chicks… but at mention of a sister, all becomes relative.
Clean Up, Aisle Six
Meanwhile, back at the mall, two chicks bond over a turkey baster.
The Chat Room
He wants to touch; she wants to iTouch.  Can techno-sex work?
Phil in Customer Service
He’s dedicated to his job, but there’s been a corporate defacement.
Jump!
A rooftop in Manhattan, a jumper talks suicide—but is he dead serious?
After Life
Upon death, a guy discovers a terrifying reality…with cameos by key historical figures.
Zombie Strippers
The Undead scare life out of a stripper and her K-Fed wannabe boy toy.

No Holes Barred

July 24, July 31, August 7 (10:30 p.m.); August 8 (4 p.m.)

Oh My Josh!
Patient meets new shrink and comes out bottoms up!
The Queen’s Privy
Queen Catherine and consorts engage in ménage a quatre, but Anne Boleyn is the cat’s meow.
The Ass Scent of Man
A docurectomy

Tickets cost:
$25/$15 Student (Monday-Saturday, 8 p.m.)
$20 (Saturday, 5 p.m.; Sunday, 4 p.m.)
$18 (Saturday, 10:30 p.m.; Sunday, 7 p.m.; Sunday, August 8, 4 p.m.)

More information, including purchasing tickets, can be found at NYArtists.org and TheaterMania.com.